Off Message

You see my eyes there? There, over the top of this blog’s title. You see them?

I am watching you. 

It is gratifying to note that Louis’ appropriation of this blog has not affected the viewing figures. A vindication, I feel. But also an indication, perhaps, of just how fucking bored some people are.

Now then. I should like to address un hideous slur that has been making the rounds. Louis XIV (The Sun King) is not, has never been, and shall never be, ‘emo’. Anyone who is suggesting otherwise will be executed. And no, Pull Tiger Tail are not ‘emo’. That is all. 

Currently Louis is liking Pull Tiger Tail. I appreciate their sense of the dramatic, their keen pop nous, and their luxuriant hair, which, with some further effort on their part, could in time approach even my lustrous locks. Approach, mind. NOT rival.

I am suffering from a headache. Merde.

Louis XIV (The Sun King)’s belt has just broken. This is making it very hard for Louis XIV (The Sun King) to keep his pantaloons up. It would be most inappropriate for Louis XIV (The Sun King) to display his royal arse to the world, so I will have to restrict my movements for the day. Unfortunately this means foregoing (once again) my morning exercise regime. A shame.

Posting in this French accent is proving to be un pain in the derriere. So I shall desist forthwith. Louis XIV (The Sun King) has no need to employ such a base device in order to prove his authenticity. I am Louis XIV (The Sun King), and that is all the proof a pathetic commoner like you should need.

before you ask, zis is not me. Zat is instead some kind of crappy moderne string quartet, who ‘ave appropriated ze name of ze great Sun King – who, incidentally, will not be standing for zis. Zey shall be ‘earing from mon lawyers tout de suite!

Pah, I say! Zis blogging lark is un piece de wee wee. Why, even updating zis blog thrice daily, as I have done today, I still have time to ponce about mon palais, admiring ze many paintings of myself I have adorning ze walls!

Pah! 

You see ‘oo is ze author on all zese posts now? You see the name? It is I! Louis! I ‘ave pwned Off Message! Merde!

It is I, Louis XIV, also known as ‘The Sun King’. I ‘ave usurped the previous owner of zees blog, and installed myself as eet’s supreme power. Vive la France! Zut alors!

I will show you ‘ow a blog should be maintained. You will see. You will all see…