Off Message

Expectations have been high all morning here at Louix XIV (Sun King) Magna: furtive glances at my mobile every few minutes; an obscene variation on ‘pocket billiards’, as I rummaged in my trousers for my pager and then realised I didn’t actually have one; all for the purpose of awaiting what I believed would be the inevitable call from Gordon Brown inviting me to join his new cabinet.

And now that wait is over: the bastard didn’t call. He did, however, send me a text. No words, just this picture:

Charming. Well he can stuff his cabinet. I’m too good for it anyway.

Still…

…I suppose there’s always the chance of a junior ministerial post tomorrow…

Off Message only shows up on the UK arm of Blog.com on ‘recently updated’ when I update, not the international arm. That’s country-ist! I demand to show as ‘recently updated’ on the international Blog.com! It is my right! OK, maybe not my right. But I’m ten times funnier than any other blog that shows up there. I have been told this. By people. Well, not so much ‘people’. More ‘voices’. In my head. Wailing cacophonously. Day and night. Imploring me to do things. Bad things…