Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Our stats

are looking a bit healthier. Is it the (new) new look? Are you finding Off Message strangely alluring? Might you even be entertaining impure thoughts about Off Message?

Well Off Message ain’t some easy slut, y’know. Off Message requires wining and dining before getting down to the filthy stuff. Or at the very least a fish finger sandwich and half a shandy.

Posted by Louis XIV, 'The Sun King' at 08:55:01 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Classy, huh?

The new look, I mean. I think we’ve finally found a template befitting such a sterling repository of deeply human discourse and effervescent wit.

And yes, I do mean Off Message. In case you were wondering.

Bastards.

Posted by Louis XIV, 'The Sun King' at 11:49:12 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

When I die,

which, who knows, may be soon, how long will this blog live on? Do abandoned blogs stay online for ever? Of all the millions of blogs we’re told are clogging up the internet, how many have been left to rot, festering in rank stews of forgotten bile and discarded spleen? Or is there some secret ‘time out’ on blogs, whereby once they’ve been left alone for a certain amount of time, they’re deleted by the blog authorities (if such a thing exists), vanishing almost without trace, perhaps the only clue they existed a defunct bookmark on a friend’s browser?

Or is that too many questions for a Tuesday?

Posted by Louis XIV, 'The Sun King' at 09:58:26 | Permalink | No Comments »

Monday, November 19, 2007

So neglected

has Off Message become that pageviews are currently being measured in percentages of one view; at the moment, the little graph I see when I log in has a vertical bar measuring 0.25, 0.50, and so on up to ‘1′. Sadly, nobody has viewed, say, 0.75% of Off Message; it’s all or nothing here, so the bar is either at ‘1′ view or ‘0′ views. Mostly ‘0′, it has to be said. Think I’ve pretty much demolished whatever pathetic audience I once had. Another admirable act of self-destruction on my part, I feel, to rank alongside similar stabs at self-defenestration in the areas of career, relationships, money… oh, you name it. If ever I’ve become reasonably successful at something, you can bet your attractively-hued britches I’ve subsequently done my best to fuck it all up. Thinking about it, I haven’t even had to be reasonably successful at whatever it is in the first place; merely participating often leads inexorably to a car crash moment where sheer laziness and a crushing sense of worthlessness compels me to violently spin the wheel and steer myself elegantly into the nearest bus shelter. And I can’t even drive.
Posted by Louis XIV, 'The Sun King' at 14:27:51 | Permalink | Comments (2)