Off Message

the ‘view’ counter’s working again, and having not written anything here for a week, Off Message seems to be just as popular when I’m not posting as when I am. Maybe more so. On top of that, we’ve also had a bunch of comments on a variety of older posts during my absence. I suggested below that Off Message needs me more than I need it. I’m starting to suspect the reverse is true. Maybe I should just fuck off to Essex or something.

You’re still telling me that no one is viewing you, even though I know that to be not the case. On top of that, it’s now become impossible to view anything other than the first ten posts on screen in each archived month, thus consigning my countless other pearls of wit and wisdom to the intervoid. Where have the little ‘older posts’ directional things at the bottom of the page gone? Why have your archives expunged the vast majority of my posts? Do you hate me, blog? Is that it? Have you finally tired of my futile wittering and decided to enact a complicated strategy of half-arsed revenge? Is it really that personal? Because you should know that, ultimately, I have the power. At the touch of a button I could delete you from meta-existence. You need me, blog. Much more, I feel, than I need you…

a Balearic DJ, original spinner at Ibiza’s premier chill out establishment, the Cafe del Mar, and compiler of the related album series, was found guilty yesterday of terrorism conspiracy charges in the US.

Yeah, okay. It’s not that Jose Padilla. But every time I hear the guy’s name, I still get a jolting disconnect and immediately start thinking about sunsets and John Martyn.

Mmm… Sunset over Guantanamo.

 

Off Message currently has a readership of two. Fucking brilliant.

Clasp. That’s one person still reading then. Anyone else?

We’re up to Thursday, and my ‘view’ counter is still saying that nobody has looked at Off Message all week. Weirdly, I’m starting to find this slightly liberating. If no one’s reading, I can just forget about the thing. Go and do something more productive or creative. Maybe delete the blog entirely. Which I’ve threatened to do before, but maybe this time I will.

my ‘pageview’ counter is broken. Either that, or absolutely nobody has looked at Off Message for the last two days. And I know that’s not true, because I’ve looked at it myself. Gods of the Internet, why do you taunt me so?

Also, I have trapped wind. Am currently drinking a can of Coke and attempting to belch. 

are full of shit.

Spiritualists are full of shit.

Relativists are full of shit.

Postmodernists are full of shit. 

Neoconservatives are full of shit.

Leftists are full of shit.

The internet is full of shit. 

On a lighter note, everyone’s a critic.

Comic book artist Mike Wieringo died on Sunday, at the age of 44. I only knew him vaguely – he sent me some images for a book I was working on, so we just exchanged a few emails. But still. Fuck. What’s going on?